"You can't leave the table until you eat that."

 Well y'all. Today was another trip to the dessert service circus. There are those that are made for the showmanship of fine dining. The deadline, the service, plating, customer gratification in real time. And then there are those, and I include myself in this category, that thrive in the equivalent of baking in a closet. With the lights off. Having but a few hours to put something together, balance my expectation, execute and present turns me into Molly Shannon in Superstar. I get weird. And very aggressive. And every time, without fail, I ask myself the question, "Why do I have the make things so hard for me? Why can't I ever choose something easy?" 

My first sewing project was a lined, fitted denim jacket. No boxer shorts for me. I didn't want to buy my wedding dress, I wanted to make it. (plus my engagement was like three seconds long it felt like.) I didn't want to start out doing character sketches or short stories. I wanted to do NOVELS. With a main character that's mute. 

Given this tendency in me, pastry school has been no different. My first dessert service, I did a frozen souffle, which was an exercise in, "What the eff AM I DOING!?" I was covered collar to fingertip in passion fruit souffle. I could smell my caramel sauce caramelizing its way to its death on the stove behind me. And my chocolate cake bloated like a preteen to three times the size I thought it would be. And yet, it was a hit. The diners liked it. I got good feedback from my chef and classmates. And I went home and slept. Satisfaction. 

And so, with that experience behind me, I could have applied some marked sense of wisdom or temperance to my day today. 

But I didn't. 

Behold, "Madras chocolate cake with burnt orange ice cream."

 

Now y'all I have a but of a confession. I have a weird palate. My mouth just wants weird things. A girl in my class wants to do a blue cheese-kimchi croissants. I WANT THAT. I love acid, I love bitter, herbaceous and vegetal. I am still training to be a pastry chef. I'm okay with acknowledging my hubris that but I'm finding that it is alienating me from producing the "hit it out of the park" stuff, if you will. I do have girls in my class who are amazing and honest and know when to reel me in when I need it. "Umm no offense but the general populace would NOT buy that." Good to know. But my Chef has been brilliant in coaching me that it's all how you sell it. 

When you read 'madras' what comes to mind is probably correct. Madras is curry. My chocolate cake had cinnamon, cardamom, ginger; gorgeous chai spices. It also had cumin in it. Which was "subtle...delicious...perfect...I think I crossed the line". The ice cream was so good. It was an orange caramel ice cream and so there absolutely nothing creamsicle about it. It tasted like Grand Marnier. This deep, beautiful, dark orange flavor. The recipe is originally from the Gourmet Cookbook (which is a MASSIVE compendium and well worth the investment if you're looking for a huge book on desserts) but I found the recipe on Lottie + Doof. He had me at 'burnt orange ice cream' but then what truly sold me was when he said ,'this ice cream is not for everyone'. Why I chose to do it for a dessert that kind of has to be for everyone? These are the questions of my life. There is an aspect to fine dining where some people come with an adventurous spirit and foodie culture has absolutely nurtured that demographic. *This is one side to my love-hate relationship with foodies.* But I think the majority of people go to fine dining restaurants because they want prime rib done really well. Do they come prepared for sweetbreads? They come for vanilla creme brûlée. Do they come prepared for curry cake? 

*As an aside, I can't bring myself to make creme brûlée. At school, at me, anywhere foe any reason. To me it is a 'culinary dessert' and that is my snobbery coming through. I know that there is nothing wrong with it. There is a pastry chef based out of Portland, OR named Jeff McCarthy and he summed up my feelings about creme brûlée: "ordering a creme brûlée is like buying a golden retriever. Have some fucking imagination." I feel like such a douchebag, and a hipster which is worse, but that is EXACTLY how I feel. There are MOUNDS of amazing, mind-blowing desserts out there that would create such a memory for your guests and enlist your creativity as a pastry chef and you want to make creme brûlée. It has been DONE. (I also like Jeff McCarthy  because he shares my affection for bread pudding. Which is an equivalent to what I just expressed about creme brûlée for some people. One of the advanced chefs thinks that bread pudding should never be on a menu. I have been put in my place.)

Someone restrain me because I'm on the conveyor belt heading towards molecular gastronomy and I do not have the finesse yet to do anything accessible or palatable with that just yet. I wanna make fruit foam!

This has been 'rant-y' but unfortunately this is one of my outlets for that. I am on dessert service again on Friday and next Monday as well. I will document the carnage which likely me something along the lines of "And then we have a port sabayon on some soggy cardboard. It lends tis really fabulous 'earthy' quality." Sure.

Find some strawberries. Plus sour cream, plus brown sugar. Maybe some balsamic reduction. MAYBE. Thank the gods of simplicity and dairy. Repeat.